We Said We'd Never Miss It. We Lied.

Hello reader. So, seventh semester of B.Tech over, huh? Most of us are packing up our rooms, booking tickets, calling packers, and pretending we’re not getting emotional about leaving. We’re all going to different cities, different jobs, different lives. How does it feel for you? I hope it feels good. But tell me honestly… does it really feel that good?

I mean, don’t get me wrong. The degree is almost over, the freedom from all these stupid rules, the classrooms that felt incredibly long and draining, the pointless and painful attendance criteria, the nagging wardens and that fat ass CSO always on our backs making sure that there is always a villain in our lives is getting over. The new chapter of earning, making decisions that actually matter, freedom to do whatever we want and independence to make a life the way we want to awaits. Trust me, nobody is more thrilled and desperate than I am to leave this goddamn city where people don’t know how to drive properly, how to talk properly, how to be respectful and show basic decency to people outside their culture.

But what do you do when a city you hated slowly starts to become home before you even realise it? Somewhere, somehow, between those countless cigarette puffs and sips of alcohol, between those laughs and midnight tears, between the noise of hostel and the rare quiet 2 AM silence, between the vape smoke and all those bloody alcohol bottles popped open… between those cricket bets on Stake and exam stress, between the secret gossips and openly judging people, this city that we kept calling temporary started seeing sides of us we didn’t even know existed. It held our 3 AM meltdowns when calling home was not an option. It held our laughter, the loud and shameless kind which came only in front of people who know the most embarrassing and stupid parts of us. It held our most unexpected friendships that grew out of nothing more than a shared cigarette, a shared assignment or a shared bitching session on the most undeserving professors. Isn’t it strange? The place we hated so much is the only one that actually saw us grow. Not the polished, filtered one that people back home think we had but the real, painful, messy one that we actually had. The one where we’re lying on a hostel bed staring at the ceiling, wondering what the hell we’re doing with our life… and then somehow figuring it out the next morning.

And now we are here. Packing our life and our memories alike in cardboard boxes and suitcases. Touching the walls of the rooms we lived in wondering how un-charming and empty they look without our anime, cars and sports stars posters. Sitting at that spot one last time where the gang once sat. And the truly weird thing? We always said, ‘Ek baar ye chutiyaap khatam ho jaae fir kabhi wapis nahin aaoonga’. And when it is actually happening, it feels like someone snatching away the book that just started to get interesting. We all are leaving a city, that despite all its flaws, all our complains, almost felt like home and returning to a house that stopped feeling like home a long time ago.

And you know the funny part? I know all of you who are reading this and in the same position as me are feeling the same. Some might even be getting all teary and wet eyed already. But I dare you, will you ever admit that loud? Not a chance in hell. Even I won’t. But some places will always be home even when we try to convince ourselves as much as we can.